Orphan, Widower & Vilomah

What do you call a parent who outlives a child? A similar question is brilliantly posed by Katherine Hepburn in the film adaptation of Tennessee Williams' play Suddenly Last Summer. Katherine Hepburn as the pink haired Mrs. Violet Venable says, "After all, I've buried a husband and a son. I'm a widower and a . . . Funny, there's no word. Lose your parents, you're an orphan. Lose your only son and you are . . . nothing" (1959). Actually, Mrs. Venable is a vilomah and no, I didn't make that up.

"Widow" is from the Sanskrit word meaning "empty." Incidentally  "vilomah" is another Sanskrit word meaning "against a natural order." The natural order is for the parent to precede the child in death. Against the natural order if or the child to precede the parent. Thus, vilomah. 

Between the years of 1840 and 1850, Jonathan Hosea Callaway was a son, a husband, a father. He also became an orphan, a widower and a vilomah. 

• August 28, 1840 - John D. Callaway, father of Jonathan Hosea dies.
• November 29, 1840 - Jonathan's daughter, Martha "Mattie" Van, is born.
• March 16, 1842 - Jonathan's daughter, Sarah Ann Caroline, is born.
• November 28, 1844 - Jonathan's son, James Almorin, is born.
• December 3, 1846 - Jonathan's son, Hosea Lany, is born.
• December 3, 1846 - Lany, wife of Jonathan, dies.
• January 8, 1848 - Rachel Mobely, mother of Jonathan Hosea dies.
• August 30, 1848 - Jonathan Hosea married Martha Jane Jones.
• July 1849 - Martha's pregnant with Jonathan's son, Andrew Jackson.
• October 11, 1849 - Hosea Lany, son of Jonathan, dies.
• October 29, 1849 - James Almorin, son of Jonathan, dies.
• March 25, 1850 - Jonathan's son, Andrew Jackson, is born.

Even if we assume that people accepted death more readily in the mid-1800s than we do today, I find my self thinking that Jonathan Hosea must have experienced tremendous heartache by the time his son, Andrew Jackson, was born. To become a father and a widow on the same day. Then lose your mother 2 years later and become an orphan. To lose two small sons within weeks of each other and become a vilomah while your wife is 4 months pregnant. The pressure of grief is too much for me to imagine. 

There's plenty of research about antebellum mothers with regards to grief and mourning. This personal encounter with a historical person made me realize, I hadn't read anything about fathers. Surely, someone else had the same questions I did. In 1994 Sally McMillon asked a similar question which resulted in the publication of her article "Antebellum Southern Fathers and the Health Care of Children" in the Journal of Southern History. McMillon states: "Historical studies of child care usually focus on mothers and demonstrate their important and demanding role within the domestic sphere. Studies of the antebellum South have examined the domestic role of slaves as well as their mistresses; however, the participation of southern fathers in the home - the duties that they assumed and the intensity of their involvement in the care of children - has not yet received adequate attention." I agree. 

Sally McMillon reviewed many personal letters and journals of Southern fathers which reveals a "deep concern and active participation in the care of their offspring" (514). She also explores the other side of the coin, those fathers who did not want or care for their offspring.  However, much of her article focuses on the attention and duties Southern fathers had in their children's lives. Like privileged antebellum women, men were instructed on proper paternal roles of fatherhood. These caring fathers were nursemaids to their children, cajoling them to eat, concocting remedies, soothing fevers, and holding them as they passed away. They also took care of their pregnant wives, ensuring a healthy mother ensured a healthy baby. While pregnant mothers had a "natural fear of the forthcoming delivery," fathers also "fretted, agonized and prayed" (517). 

The whole of McMillon's article provides an illuminating insight to Jonathan Hosea's potential personality. It also raises more questions. Did he rejoice in the birth of his son while grieving over the death of his wife? How do you conduct an antebellum funeral and a celebration at the same time. Since his mother was widow, perhaps she came to live with him and help care for the children after his wife's death. Is that why he waited so long to remarry? He needed someone to help him with the children after his mother died? What was it like for him to care for 2 sick little boys and a young pregnant wife?

It would be interesting to do some more research and write a story about this situation. What do you think?

The 1st Wife, the 2nd Wife...Arkansas Marriages

I've heard people with teeth clenching frustration bemoan tracing women in their family history and I'm right there with them when search before 1850.  After 1850, they are still gritting their teeth and I'm smirking along. The only furrowed brow I really encountered were with Jonathan Hosea Callaway's two oldest daughters, Mary Ann Rachel and Martha Van. Their birth dates were clearly recorded in the family bible but not their marriages. 

Without a record of their marriage and their husbands' last name, it becomes difficult to trace them through census records. However, an hour at the genealogy center on Ancestry.com (Library Edition) soon solved this issue. These are transcriptions, not copies of the originals (if you know anything by now is that I thrive on the originals, so I'm still working on getting those).

Transcription: Mary R. Calloway, Female, age 23, born abt 1840, residing in Ashley Co. Arkansas, marries F F Brud, Male, age 34, marriage date - 23 December 1863

I'm still a little furrowed on this one because the surname Brud is not popping up. I really need the original in case there was an error in the transcription (i.e. the name was misspelled). 

The 2nd daughter was Martha Van and apparently went by "Mattie" since her step-mother was also a Martha. I found "Mattie Van Calloway" also married in Ashley County, Arkansas on December 5, 1867 to J. H. Riggin. Still smirking I did a search on FindaGrave.com and found she died on May 7, 1880.  Again her husband is listed as Rev. J. H. Riggin. I blinked... and blinked again. Wait, is that right?!

I quickly shuffled through my files for the youngest daughter of Jonathan Hosea Callaway. Her name was Louisa "Lula" Mason and she married.... yep, there it was, "John H. Riggin." Married  September 24, 1880 - just 4 months after her sister's death. Oh, Come on! Maybe this was a cousin with the same initials? Right? Right?

I checked to see if Lula's J.H. Riggin was a minister too... yep. Then I found these photographs. The back says "Riggin & 1st Wife Callaway." The dating of the photograph puts it between 1860 and 1890, well within the time period for Mattie's marriage to J.H. Riggin. Therefore, based on the above collected evidence and until new evidence proves me wrong, this is one of the few pictures I have of Martha "Mattie" Van Callaway.

That's Arkansas marriages for you and if you think about the time period, it actually makes a lot of sense. I could go into a cultural anthropology thing, but I think I'll save that for another article.

Thank You, Mr. Boyd & Family Maps!

*For reasons unknown there's been problems with this post. The following first paragraph was missing from the initial publishing.

I didn't post on Friday because I wanted to tell you about my experience at the "Genealogy Lock-In" program at Haggard Library. This was a great opportunity for people to utilize various resources across Texas, attend free workshops and receive assistance from the fabulous Genealogy Center staff. And I got to combine two of my favorite things... my hobby and my job. As a representative for my museum, I was there with my portable audio and imaging lab helping people preserve their family history. I met one lady with whom I spent several long minutes discussing photographs. She was lamenting about her family photographs, many of whom are unidentified and a problem I'm quite familiar with (see Tuesday Tagging). We discussed strategies for aging photographs, typing to fashion. As I was walking away I saw another woman with a catchy black shirt was contrasted with her silver hair. It said, "I seek dead people!" She laughed saying, "Only people like us get it," referring to the women and a few men milling around. 

One of the men I met was Mr. Gregory A. Boyd. If you've ever used the "Family Map" books in the library or www.HistoryGeo.com then you've used the brainchild of Mr. Boyd. He's a one-of-a-kind guy, a combination of "attorney, software engineer, and historian" according to Arphax Publishing Co. website. I use the visual placement of the land lots on the map to determine relative proximity to different family branches. For instance, I discovered that the Baker family farm and the Callaway family farms were within a mile of each other. That proximity explains how Irene Baker and John Callaway probably met and later married.

From "Family Maps of Coffee County, Alabama" page 205

Another puzzle the maps solved was to a reference in the family bible. 

The Callaway family bible says: "Rachel Callaway, wife of John [D.] Callaway & mother of J. H. [Jonathan Hosea] Callaway died near Geneva on the 8th day of January 1848 at the residence of J H Callaway & was buried near Dr. Jones where also lies Lany and her 2 little boys J A & H L Callaway." The big question was where is this Dr. Jones place? Again, the proximity of names came to my rescue in the Family Maps. While highlighting the Callaway land, I didn't immediately notice the Jones on the far left until I looked at the historical map on page 145. There I noticed the "Jones Cemetery."

From "Family Maps of Geneva County, Alabama" page 145

The puzzle began to make sense and it was due to Mr. Boyd and his team's (that's his wife and one other person) hard work. I got to shake his hand and thank him personally for helping me answer some genealogical questions. I thought about asking for an autograph because I sincerely appreciate his work... but decided not to. If you have a chance to attend an all day genealogy workshop, I definitely recommend it. I know I'll me coming back to this one.

Oh, Where art thou?

1860 was a turbulent year. People were split on slavery, the cotton market hadn't fully recovered from its 1850 crash, and John Hansford Callaway was nowhere to be found in the official records. His father, Jonathan Hosea Callaway, was in Arkansas but not John Hansford. In a fit of fustration, I decided to search for Irene Baker. This is usually a worst deadend because women were not considered 'valuable' (and I know that's open to debate, but for the sake of simplicity lets just move on). 

Surpisingly, Irene was in the records... just not where I thought she should be according to the family bible (read "Confusion is Good"). Once I found Irene's 1860 census, I then found the marriage license which just goes to show that you have to branch out into different search avenues.

Despite this fist-pumping moment, I was still confronted and confounded by the question, "Why did John go to Dallas County, Alabama to get married?" and "How did they meet?" The previous years records showed him well established in the areas of Dale, Coffee and Geneva County, Alabama. 

How did they meet?

After doing some land records search I found that Amelia Baker, Irene's mother, owned a good parcel of land in Coffee County. She had about 8 tracts of land all right together, two tracts were bought in 1853 and another six in 1858. However, the census shows her in Coffee County as early as 1850 then in Dallas County in 1860. Turns out, Jonathan Hosea Callaway bought some land less than a mile from them in 1858 and we know he was in Coffee County according to the Alabama State Census. Using the information available, here's what I think happened.

1845 - First tracts of land bought in Coffee County by Jonathan Hosea Callaway.
1850 - Both the Baker Family and Callaway Family are in Coffee County, Alabama according to census.
1853 - Amelia Baker buys land in Coffee County. 
1857 - Baker Family has probably moved to Dallas County, Alabama. Irene's sister, Dulcenia, gets married to Joseph Callaway (no relation that I can find at this time). In the 1860 census their daughter is 2 years old, putting their marriage about 1857. Irene would have been old enough to start teaching and her 2 older brothers remained in Coffee Co. on the census. Presumably, they are running the farm.
1858 - The Baker farm expands and Johnathan Hosea Callaway buys land less than a mile away. It was not an uncommon practice to send the oldest son out to get the land started. Therefore, John Hansford would have likely become friends with his neighbors, the Baker boys. It's also possible that John Hansford would have met Irene when her family came home to visit the farm. Courtship through letters was also common during this time. 
1860 - Jonathan Hosea Callaway packs up his family and sets out for Arkansas. Meanwhile, John Hansford travels to Dallas County where his future wife is finishing up teaching her school term. They get married, set off for Arkansas and made a family.

That's what I think happened.

Callaway Family (L-R) : Eli Elisha, John Hansford, William, Irene P., and John Hosea